"Women give time and men give money," states an old adage. Because women now control more than sixty percent of the nation's wealth, it makes sense today to rethink that philosophy. Whether it's corporate giving, estate planning, family trusts or annual appeals, women are exercising some major muscle in the world of philanthropy.

Not that this is a new trend. Take this "Jeopardy"-style quiz:

Answer: In the 1950s, she "provided almost every single dollar necessary to develop the oral contraceptive." Question: Who was Katharine McCormick?

Answer: $13 million in grants have come from this celebrity. Hint: It's not Oprah!   Question: Who is Barbara Streisand?

Answer: Her bequeathed gift of $375,000 founded this Massachusetts women's college in 1871.   Question: Who was Sophia Smith?

Despite the demands of work, family and everyday living, many women are attracted to specific causes that hook them in the heart. Research tells us that women feel a sense of social responsibility just as strongly as men, though their giving patterns and preferences can differ.

Some women are able to honor their parents; a widow may choose to memorialize her husband's life. More than ever today, women are following a "give while you live" philosophy, exercising that financial muscle in order to accomplish her personal goals. When Albina du Boisrouvray lost her only son 18 years ago, she turned from her own work in film and journalism towards helping others, establishing her own foundation dedicated to fighting AIDS. Her heroic efforts (visit www.afxb.org ) have been recognized and celebrated world-wide.

Women who give aren't all big stars and heiresses. Many women save and invest on their own, or are able to manage family interests. Retired teacher Margaret Allesee donated $1 million to a Michigan university. Nellie Bullis, a retired corporate secretary, donated $12.3 million to establish a fund through a community foundation in the state of New York. Ruth DeYoung, also a secretary, gave $1.6 million to a college in California. The Davis sisters - Gladys and Vivian - donated $18.4 million to West Virginia University. One sister worked for the federal government; the other was a social studies teacher.

These great women had specific goals in mind when they made these gifts. Goals that took careful planning peppered with a good dose of well-reasoned advice. How can you start to learn more about making wise philanthropic decisions? The average gift in the U.S. today is just over 3% of before tax income; are you prepared to be better than average?

First, discuss your desires with a professional financial counselor or attorney. Plan your "charitable budget" just as you would for your business or household. How can you set aside funds for philanthropic use or maintain your family's tradition of giving?

Volunteer. This gives you an inside look at the nonprofit you'd like to support. Information gathered in this way is powerful and can help you grow closer to the organization, or keep you from making an expensive mistake.

Ask and ask again. Just as your customer families are more likely these days to ask questions of you, so should you be ready to ask nonprofits about the way they do business. If you are uncertain of where your donations may go, step back and rethink your gift. "Transparency" is a big concern of charities and nonprofits.

Weigh your options. Are there ways to make more your current giving activities more meaningful, both to you and to the receiving nonprofit? Could you be giving gifts of stock or securities? Would a recurring monthly gift make sense to you?

Finally, allow yourself to fall in love. When you love the good work you are helping to fund, your personal - intangible - rewards will double.

--Kathy Buenger